Exsequor: The Facebook Edition
by inmemoryoftheMasterRapper
Summary: Part of "Exsequor". What would happen if I condense all of the current happenings in the story into a form of Facebook updates? Crack ensues.


**Exsequor: Facebook Edition**

**Summary:** The story as of now. (Okay, I lied. This is the summary of the first 16 chapters of the story, chapter 17 onwards will be having another chapter.)

**DISCLAIMER: **Kuroshitsuji is not mine. Facebook will also never be mine. But Exsequor's storyline is mine. =w=

**A/N: **I can't get it out of my head. XD A summary of my AU Kuro fic, Exsequor. Inspired by Maiden of the Moon's fanfic: Kuroshitsuji II: Facebook Newsfeed Edition. Read it! Love it! XD

* * *

><p>Sebastian thinks his classmates this year are stupid.<p>

Bard dislikes Sebastian for looking at Maylene.

Grell likes tiny sewing scissors and chopping off his classmates' hair.

Rachel posted on Grell's wall: "Young man, we need to talk!"

Sebastian requested to be friends with Lonely Boy/Girl Blue a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive.

Sebastian sent Ciel a message: "Hi there, cutie!"

Ciel replied on Sebastian's message: "WTH."

Ciel ignored Sebastian's friend request.

* * *

><p>Rachel posted on Ciel's wall: "I'll sing you a lullaby tonight!"<p>

Ciel commented on Rachel's post: "But he kiss'd me!"

Sebastian posted on Ciel's wall: "I'm sowwy."

Rachel likes Adorable Little Boys Being Chummy Together.

Sebastian likes being Ciel's knight in shining armor.

Sebastian posted on Ciel's wall: "You're pwetty~"

Ciel dislikes this.

Sebastian posted on his brother's wall: "Y'forgot'sta bwing my wunch."

Ciel posted on Sebastian's wall: "Lemme feed you with my mum's handmade wunch!"

Sebastian likes this.

Sebastian likes Mashed Potatoes.

Ciel sent Sebastian a private message: "Y'kiss'd me again!"

Sebastian replied on Ciel's message: "But you're so kyute~!"

Sebastian requested to be friends with Lonely Boy/Girl a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive.

Ciel and Sebastian are now friends.

* * *

><p>Principal Kelvin requested to be friends with Lonely BoyGirl a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive.

Sebastian sent Principal Kelvin a private message: "Don't let me hurt you!"

Sebastian likes Hiding Pocket Knives on his Person.

Ciel ignored Principal Kelvin's friend request.

Principal Kelvin sent Vincent a private message: "I like you."

Vincent blocked Principal Kelvin.

Vincent dislikes Sebastian for making his son trip on an eraser.

Ciel dislikes this.

Sebastian posted on Vincent's wall: "Ciel will be my bride!"

Rachel and Principal Kelvin like this.

Vincent commented on Sebastian's post: "Then prove it!"

Principal Kelvin commented on Sebastian's post: "LOL! Yeah! Prove it!"

Ciel commented on Sebastian's post: "What'sa bwide?"

Sebastian requested to be friends with Vincent Phantomhive.

Sebastian and Vincent are now friends.

* * *

><p>Ciel invited Sebastian to an event: "You. Be one with my family!"<p>

Rachel likes this.

Sebastian commented on Ciel's event: "But I need permission!"

Rachel commented on Sebastian's post: "We'll guard you! (wink)"

Sebastian commented on Ciel's event: "..."

Sebastian will attend Ciel's event.

Ciel wants to let the world know that Sebastian is his best friend forevaaar.

Sebastian likes this.

Sebastian commented on Ciel's status: "Me. Likey. Me. Twirls you."

Charles posted on Ciel's wall: "Hiya mega minis!"

Sebastian dislikes this.

Charles requested to be friends with Lonely Boy/Girl a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive, Rachel Phantomhive and Vincent Phantomhive.

Ciel sent Vincent and Rachel a private message: "Should I accept?"

Charles is now friends with Lonely Boy/Girl a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive, Rachel Phantomhive and Vincent Phantomhive.

Charles likes this.

Charles likes The Phantomhive Clan.

Rachel likes this.

Vincent sometimes doesn't understand his wife.

Rachel commented on Vincent's status: "Tee hee!"

Charles invited the Phantomhive Clan to an event: "Let's go to my granny's bakery!"

The Phantomhive Clan will attend Charles' event.

* * *

><p>Charles added "Playing jokes with my brother" to his interests.<p>

Sebastian commented on Charles' interest: "Why!"

Ciel commented on Charles' interest: "I told you I'm a boy, S'basti'n!"

Lonely Boy/Girl a.k.a. Ciel Phantomhive changed his name to Ciel Phantomhive.

Sebastian hates his life.

Charles dislikes this.

Charles commented on Sebastian's status: "Sebastian! Apologize!"

Sebastian sent Ciel a private message: "Sowwy."

Vincent thinks he's being delusional about his son's preference.

Rachel posted on Vincent's wall: "I know what you're thinking, Vince! Tee hee!"

Ciel likes Charles' Cakes.

Charles likes this.

Charles added "Spoiling his baby brother" to his interests.

Ciel made Sebastian eat a cake! Hah!

Charles commented on Ciel's status: "How'd ya do it!"

Rachel and Vincent invited Charles and Sebastian to an event: "Have tea with the Phantomhives!"

Charles and Sebastian will attend Rachel and Vincent's event.

Sebastian found a kitteh! I'll name you Tabitha and you shall be my Tabitha!

William Spears dislikes this.

William likes owls.

William hates his middle name.

Vincent commented on William's status: "Haha! I know your middle name! Sissy."

Vincent sent Charles a private message: "Why are your surnames different?"

* * *

><p>Vincent dislikes People Being Beaten Up By Some Random Guys.<p>

Ciel posted on Vincent's wall: "What is that, father?"

Sebastian posted on Vincent's wall: "Yeah, what's that?"

Vincent commented on Ciel's post: "Nothing to worry about, son."

Sebastian added "making flower wreaths" to his interests.

Ciel likes this.

Ciel commented on Sebastian's interest: "Make me one, too! Please!"

Sebastian commented on Ciel's post: "'Mkay!"

Rachel likes this.

Ciel likes Dancing Under the Sun with Flower Wreaths on his Hair.

Sebastian likes this.

Rachel invited Sebastian to an event: "Sleepover at Ciel's house!"

Sebastian will attend Rachel's event.

Charles and Ciel like this.

Rachel added "looking at his son and his friend sleeping" to her interests.

Rachel dislikes pocket knives.

Charles added "teaching my little brother self-defense" to his interests.

Vincent likes this.

Rachel dislikes this.

Charles blocked Principal Kelvin.

Rachel blocked Principal Kelvin.

Rachel likes to show off her servants' skillz.

Charles, Tanaka, Angela and Ronald like this.

William posted on Rachel's wall: "Please stop using my middle name as a substitute for calling me, my lady."

Angela commented on William's post: "But it's cute!"

Angela added "dressing up her young master" to her interests.

Rachel likes this.

Tanaka commented on Angela's interest: "Hohoho!"

Sebastian likes Dreaming About Feminine-Looking Boys.

Rachel, Charles and Vincent like this.

William hates mornings.

Sebastian likes macaroni salad.

William hates doors being slammed on his face.

Charles likes this.

William is bored of reciting food ingredients everyday.

William dislikes messy sheets.

Ciel added "putting whipped cream on every surface available around the house" to his interests.

William dislikes this.

Ronald commented on Ciel's interest: "The clowns are coming!"

Ciel dislikes this.

Sebastian added "calling William girly names" to his interests.

William posted on Sebastian's wall: "You're on my list."

Ronald commented on William's post: "Pwned by a kid! Haha!"

Angela likes kittens.

Ciel and Sebastian invited the Phantomhive Clan and Charles Grey to an event: "The Search for teh Missing Kitteh!"

Angela commented on Ciel and Sebastian's event: "I'll join, too!"

Rachel posted on Vincent's wall: "You need some exercise, hun!"

Angela posted on Ciel's wall: "Kitten's asleep, young master."

Charles likes eating sweets out of nowhere.

Rachel likes this.

Rachel sent Charles a private message: "Why are you so lean? Tell me your secret!"

Sebastian added "Ciel's bedroom" to his Places I've Been To application.

William posted on Sebastian's wall: "Why don't you get your own room? There's lots of vacant rooms in the manor!"

William tagged Ciel and Sebastian in a post: "School Toursz!"

Charles and Charles are now friends.

Rachel added "waking up little boys from sleep" to her interests.

Vincent posted an event: "Let's Gatecrash Disneyland!"

Victoria's Guardian Acaemy will attend Vincent's event.

Charles dislikes garlic ice cream.

The Grumpy Ice Cream Man posted on Charles' wall: "Not my fault, ya 'no?"

Ciel, Sebastian and Charles like Green Tea Ice Cream.

Rachel and Vincent sent Ciel a gift: A husky stuffed toy.

Charles sent Sebastian a gift: A kitty stuffed toy.

* * *

><p>Ronald dislikes dogs running around the mansion and breaking vases.<p>

Vincent commented on Ronald's status: "That's coming out of your paycheck."

Rachel commented on Ronald's status: "Where's mah puppeh?"

Charles yells no one's getting mah food stock, sissies!

Random Stewardess dislikes this.

Ciel wants to be tall like Sebastian!

Sebastian likes this.

The Phantomhive Clan posted on their wall: "We're home!"

Angela, Tanaka and Ronald like this.

Sebastian sent Ciel a gift: A husky stuffed toy.

Sebastian posted on Ciel's wall: "I'll invite myself over to your house tonight."

Rachel likes this.

Ciel posted on William's wall: "Put raisins on my food again and you're fired."

William commented on Ciel's post: "Blame your father on that. Hurr durr."

Ciel sent Sebastian a gift: A plate of butter tarts.

Sebastian is now offline.

* * *

><p>Ciel posted on Sebastian's wall: "The doctor will save you!"<p>

Charles posted on Sebastian's wall: "I know ya can't see this, but hold on!"

Random German Doctor sent Charles pamphlets.

Random German doctor is now friends with Charles Grey and The Phantomhive Clan.

Ciel posted on Random German Doctor's wall: "Those words on the pamphlets are too long. Kthnx."

Random German Doctor posted on Charles' wall: "So? What will it be?"

Ciel posted on Sebastian's wall: "Why didn't you tell me you got beaten up?"

Ciel sent Sebastian a private message: "I'll make you see again! Believe it!"

Ciel added "secretly kissing his best friend" on his interests.

William commented on Ciel's interest: "Iseewhatyoudidthere,youngmaster."

William is actually capable of having emotionsz!

Ciel can now make flower wreaths for Sebastian!

Ciel posted a note: "Things To Do For Being an Eye Donor."

* * *

><p>Angela has joined the group: "I like Lavenders."<p>

Angela added "looking at her young master" to her interests.

Rachel likes this.

Ciel posted on The Phantomhive Clan's wall: "I can give an eye to Sebastian?"

Rachel and Vincent dislike this.

William thinks too much silence kills him.

Ciel has left the group: "The Phantomhive Clan."

William thinks he needs a raise for being a butler.

Ciel sent William a private message: "Make my parents accept mah decision!"

William replied to Ciel's message: "Yes, my lord."

Angela added "Ciel Phantomhive" to The Persons Who Inspire Me application.

Angela is somehow afraid of William and his laser eye-stare.

William commented on Angela's status: "..."

Ciel is now going to school with Sebastian! He needs me as his cane.

Elizabeth commented on Ciel's status: "I smell something weird going on around there."

Madam Red posted on Ciel's Classmates' wall: "Sebastian is blind! A quiz is up next!"

Ciel and Ciel's Classmates dislike this.

Grell likes Gossiping and Hunks.

Grell sent Sebastian a private message: "I want you, you know!"

Grell formed a group: "Convince Ciel's parents to donate his eye-thing to Sebastian!"

* * *

><p>Sebastian heights may writingzkillsz.<p>

Madam Red commented on Sebastian's status: "Maybe you need to go to the infirmary to rest, sweetie. I can't understand what you're typing."

Wendy likes Drinking Deceiving Beverages.

Madam Red sent Sebastian a gift: A chewable tablet.

Madam Red sent Ciel a private message: "We need to talk, little nephew."

Ciel posted on Madam Red's wall: "What's a wine, auntie?"

Wendy likes this.

William likes his job as a butler.

William posted on The Phantomhive Clan's wall: "Just following your son's orders."

Angela likes seeing William pout.

Ciel likes hearing Sebastian's whispers. It tickles!

The Double Charles, Madam Red and Random German Doctor added "The Phantomhive Manor" to their Places I've Been To application.

Ronald likes Waking Up People By Meowing.

Rachel formed the group: "Convince Ciel to stop trying to convince us!"

Vincent and Charles Grey joined Rachel's group.

Grell formed a group: "Convince Ciel's parents to donate his eye-thing to Sebastian! Part Two!"

Madam Red, William, Angela and Random German Doctor joined Grell's group.

Charles Phipps thinks being silent is the way to do things accordingly.

Rachel removed the group: "Convince Ciel to stop trying to convincing us!"

Rachel and Vincent joined the group: "Convince Ciel's parents to donate his eye-thing to Sebastian! Part Two!"

Grell likes this.

Ciel likes this.

Ciel joined the group: "The Phantomhive Clan."

* * *

><p>Sebastian posted on Ciel's wall: "Plzdun duu this."<p>

Ciel commented on Sebastian's post: "I forgive you for pushing me, but srsly. You need an eye."

Random German Doctor invited Charles and the Phantomhive Clan to an event: "Restore Sebastian's sight using another kid's eye!"

Charles and the Phantomhive Clan will attend Random German Doctor's event.

Ciel likes this.

Sebastian is now friends with Bard, Maylene and Finnian.

Ciel likes this.

Random German Doctor invited Ciel and Sebastian to an event: "Restore Sebastian's sight using another kid's eye!"

Ciel and Sebastian will attend Random German Doctor's event.

* * *

><p>Ciel likes having bi-colored eyes.<p>

Random German Doctor likes this.

Sebastian is now online.

Sebastian thinks having two-toned eyes really suits him.

Ciel and Random German Doctor like this.

Ciel is now nine years old. Phear me!

Sebastian and 42 others like this.

William thinks having everything back to normal is enough for him to smile just a bit.

Viscount of Druitt invited Ciel and Ciel's Classmates to an event: "Art Project for my precious little birdies!"

Ciel and Ciel's Classmates will attend Viscount of Druitt's event.

Charles recommended Beatrice Lorum to be friends with Sebastian.

Sebastian sent Charles a private message: "Don't just shove random people on my friend list."

Ciel's Classmates formed a group: "Let's Hate That Busty Newcomer Wannabe!1!1!"

Maylene and Nina are now friends.

Nina Hopkins and 252 others joined the group: "Let's Hate That Busty Newcomer Wannabe!1!1!"

Ciel likes being possessive over Sebastian.

Sebastian likes this.

Let's Hate That Busty Newcomer Wannabe!1!1! posted on their wall: "Let's spread rumors about Bo Beep to everyone!"

Nina Hopkins, Maylene, Grell and 252 others like this.

Grell commented on Let's Hate That Busty Newcomer Wannabe!1!1!'s post: "Hah! Wait 'til I get the pictures!"

The Joker requested to be friends with Beatrice Lorum.

Beatrice replied to The Joker's message: "Who you callin' a hoe, rainbow boy?"

The Joker thinks Beatrice is interesting.

* * *

><p>Sebastian likes being possessive over Ciel.<p>

Ciel likes this.

Grell dislikes this.

Grell posted an event: "Party at the Phantomhive Manor! Whoo! Lemme get my best dress!"

Ciel and The Phantomhive Clan dislike this.

Ciel and 19 others will attend Grell's event.

Grell likes this.

Ash likes wearing white.

Angela likes this.

Angela posted on Ash's wall: "How's my little brother?"

Ash commented on Angela's post: "I'm fine, sister. Let's talk about life, shall we?"

Frances likes to watch over her nephew.

Rachel likes this.

Frances sent Sebastian a private message: "Touch my nephew and die."

Frances likes scrutinizing Sebastian.

Sebastian commented on Frances' status: "..."

Maylene formed a group: "Let's Make Bo Beep Confused By Getting on Her Way! (In one way or another)"

Grell, Nina, Bard, Ash, Elizabeth and Finnian joined Maylene's group.

Ciel likes this.

Victoria formed the group: "I Hate Homosexuals and their Spreading Virus to my Family."

Grell and Charles Grey reported Victoria's group as Offensive.

Angela blocked Victoria.

The Phantomhive Clan blocked Victoria.

The Double Charles removed Victoria from their friend list.

Sebastian removed Victoria from his friend list.

William blocked Victoria.

Tanaka sent Rachel a gift: A breather and a pitcher of water.

Rachel likes this.

Grell sent Beatrice a private message: "Break another plate and die. You're making William's job difficult."

Beatrice replied to Grell's message: "Blame that old lady!"

Rachel reported Victoria's profile as a Credible Threat of Violence.

Victoria added Sebastian to her family lineage.

Sebastian ignored Victoria's friend request.

Sebastian blocked Victoria.

Grell thinks Beatrice should have a mind of her own.

Maylene and Nina like this.

Finnian likes Angela's purple eyes.

Ash commented on Finnian's status: "Make sure it's only her eyes you're looking at."

Nina sent Maylene a private message: "Got to Plan B. ASAP."

Maylene added "Ciel's bedroom" to her Places I've Been To application.

Ciel sent Sebastian a private message: "Let's play hide and seek! LOL"

Sebastian added "handmade tunnels" to his interests.

Finnian likes playing with Pluto. (insert happy face here)

Sebastian sent Ciel a gift: His first kiss.

* * *

><p>Ash blocked Beatrice.<p>

Bard requested to be friends with Beatrice.

Bard and Beatrice are now friends.

Bard recommended Beatrice to like the application: "Doing headshots on Fallout 3!"

Beatrice added "Doing headshots on Fallout 3!" to her applications.

Ciel added "Sebastian's room" to his Places I've Been To application.

Sebastian likes this.

Ciel likes Faux Fur Coats.

Beatrice deleted "Doing headshots on Fallout 3!"

Beatrice removed Bard from her friend list.

Bard feels depressed.

Ash commented on Bard's status: "Play Nintendogs instead."

Bard commented on Ash's post: "Screw you. Maylene will kill me!"

Nina likes comparing people to cloth.

Beatrice dislikes this.

Sebastian sent Ciel a gift: A faux tiger fur coat.

Sebastian thinks he should delve deeper into his innuendos.

Ciel commented on Sebastian's status: "What's an innuendo? Is it a type of candy?"

Maylene likes mind-effing Beatrice.

Beatrice dislikes this.

Maylene sent Beatrice a private message: "You make me sit on my glasses, hoe. You be pimpin' for the payment."

Beatrice posted a note: "Please don't call me a lowlife!"

Beatrice added "Cockney accents" to her Languages.

Sebastian sent Ciel a gift: His second kiss.

Beatrice thinks she should lay off thinking about the past too much.

Victoria (still) thinks homosexuals are a nuisance to society.

Charles Grey sent Victoria a gift: A slap to the face.

Charles Phipps commented on Charles Grey's gift: Maybe you should stop.

Charles Grey reminisces about his first love.

Charles Phipps commented on Charles Grey's status: "..."

Charles Grey changed his relationship status from "It's complicated" to "In a relationship".

Charles Phipps likes this.

Charles Grey commented on his relationship status: "Thanks, Charles. (heart)"

Victoria dislikes this.

Rachel and Vincent added "The Grey Abode" to their Places I've Been To application.

Charles ignored Victoria's friend request.

Charles sent Victoria a private message: "Stop PMSing on us, granny! "

Charles thinks he would really appreciate it if his grandmother would accept them with open arms.

* * *

><p>I'll update after I update a few chapters of Exsequor, yes? :D Just tell if you want more of it. :)<p> 


End file.
